Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Man Gets Porked By Vicious Swine

     As you surely know by now, an epidemic of man eating pigs is sweeping the nation. A 70 year old hog farmer named Terry Garner was recently killed and consumed by these abhorrent creatures at his home in Oregon. He reportedly went out to feed the animals and did not return for several hours, at which time the family suspected something unusual was occurring.
     When the family arrived at the scene of the senior's slaughter, they found only his dentures and some various body parts scattered throughout the enclosure. The police are still investigating how he "ended up in a position where the hogs were able to consume him." It could have been a heart attack, some pigs may have knocked him down, or it may have been an act of suicide. Potential foul play is being looked into.
    What I wonder is, why did the family wait so long to retrieve the old man? Perhaps they abducted him in his sleep and deposited the unconscious man into the hog pen to be consumed. They may have wanted his property, or maybe he had some money put back, or perhaps he was simply a burden to the family. Nobody will know, for the answer lies in the bellies of the hogs.
     The article did not clarify the current condition of the pigs. They possibly were killed, or maybe they will be used for food purposes. While reading this article, I could not help but wonder how a funeral will be held or the man. Will there be a casket? And if so, what will it contain? Perhaps his dentures will be buried, or the hogs, or the excrement from the animals which consumed the man.
     The article clearly states, "this isn't the first time hogs have eaten their farmers." As I stated before, this is a tragic epidemic currently taking place. I'm sure for the family, bacon will never taste the same. Farmers beware, there is evil afoot.

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/10/01/14173510-70-year-old-oregon-farmer-eaten-by-his-hogs?lite#__utma=238145375.776964584.1349199575.1349199575.1349199575.1&__utmb=238145375.1.10.1349199575&__utmc=238145375&__utmx=-&__utmz=238145375.1349199575.1.1.utmcsr=google|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=238145375.|8=Earned%20By=msnbc%7Cus%20news%7Cweird%20news=1^12=Landing%20Content=Mixed=1^13=Landing%20Hostname=www.msnbc.msn.com=1^30=Visit%20Type%20to%20Content=Earned%20to%20Mixed=1&__utmk=93929822

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